Perfectionism and Anxiety: How to Overcome the Cycle

Clinically Reviewed by Brittany Astrom

Brittany has 15 years of experience in the Mental Health and Substance Abuse field. Brittany has been licensed for almost 8 years and has worked in various settings throughout her career, including inpatient psychiatric treatment, outpatient, residential treatment center, PHP and IOP settings.

Many people believe that being perfect is a good thing. But trying to be perfect all the time can cause a lot of stress. This is called perfectionism, and it can lead to anxiety disorders. People with perfectionist tendencies often set unrealistic standards for themselves, making it hard to feel happy.

Perfectionism means wanting to do everything perfectly. People with perfectionist traits push themselves too hard and feel bad when they make mistakes. There are different levels of perfectionism:

• Self-oriented perfectionism: Setting high standards for yourself.
• Other-oriented perfectionism: Expecting others to be perfect.
• Socially-prescribed perfectionism: Feeling pressure from society to be perfect.

Signs of Perfectionism

Some common signs of perfectionism include:

• Fear of making mistakes
• Feeling like nothing is ever good enough
• Spending too much time on tasks
• Avoiding new challenges because of fear of failure
• Black-and-white thinking (things are either perfect or a failure)

When people set unrealistic expectations, they feel constant pressure to be perfect. This leads to stress and symptoms of anxiety such as:

• Feeling nervous or worried all the time
• Trouble sleeping
• Negative self-talk
• Fast heartbeat or high blood pressure

Perfectionism and Mental Health Disorders

Perfectionism is linked to many mental health conditions, including:

• Generalized anxiety disorder
• Social anxiety disorder
• Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)
• Depression
• Post-traumatic stress disorder

People who struggle with perfectionism often have feelings of inadequacy. They feel like they are never good enough, which makes their anxiety worse.

Many things can cause perfectionistic tendencies. Some common causes include:

Parental Expectations

Parents who expect a flawless level of success can make kids feel like they always have to be perfect. This can lead to unhealthy perfectionism later in life.

Societal Pressures

Social media and society tell us that we need to be perfect to be successful. This creates irrational beliefs that make people feel like they must always be at a high level of performance.

Personality Traits

Some people are naturally more likely to be perfectionists. Perfectionistic individuals often have anxiety sensitivity, meaning they are more likely to feel stressed and worried.

Many perfectionists fall into a cycle of stress. This is called the perfectionism trap:

1. 1Set unrealistic goals.
2. 2Work too hard to achieve them.
3. 3Feel bad when they don’t succeed.
4. 4Try even harder next time.

This cycle creates psychological distress and lowers quality of life.

It is possible to overcome excessive perfectionism. Here are some ways to break free:

Set Realistic Goals

Instead of aiming for perfection, set achievable goals. It is okay to make mistakes and learn from them.

Challenge Negative Thoughts

Many perfectionists engage in negative self-talk. Challenge unhelpful beliefs by asking:

• Is this thought true?
• Would I say this to a friend?
• What is a more realistic way of thinking?

Therapy for Anxiety and Perfectionism

A mental health counselor or family therapist can help with mental health treatment. Common therapies include:

• Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT): Helps change perfectionistic thinking.
• Behavioral therapy: Helps people manage stress and anxiety.
• Mindfulness training: Helps improve level of trait mindfulness.

Medication for Anxiety

Some people may need medication to help with anxiety disorder symptoms. Medications like selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) and serotonin-norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors (SNRIs) can help manage feelings of anxiety.

Practice Self-Compassion

Being kind to yourself is important. Instead of aiming for a flawless level of success, focus on progress.

Seek Support

Talking to a mental health professional or joining a support group can make a big difference.

The link between perfectionism and anxiety is strong, but there are ways to break free. By setting realistic standards, challenging perfectionistic traits, and seeking mental health treatment, it is possible to live a balanced life.

1\. How do I know if I have perfectionism and anxiety?

If you feel constant pressure to be perfect and have symptoms of anxiety, such as stress and worry, you may struggle with perfectionism and anxiety.

2\. Can perfectionism cause anxiety disorders?

Yes. Perfectionistic tendencies can lead to generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety, and other mental health disorders.

3\. How can I stop being a perfectionist?

Start by setting realistic goals, challenging perfectionistic thinking, and practicing self-compassion. Therapy and support can also help.

4\. What therapy is best for perfectionism and anxiety?

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is often recommended. Mindfulness training and behavioral treatment can also help.

5\. Is medication needed for perfectionism-related anxiety?

Not always. Some people benefit from therapy alone, while others may need anxiety therapy with medications like SSRIs or SNRIs. Visit SAMHSA or contact us today for more information.